Tag: Fen

During the few weeks of downtime Gen spent in the forest.

After a few weeks in Lazuli Gen decided to go and visit his sister at home. There were things they needed to talk about but that never came easy to them, even when they were among themselves…

The rustle of leaves was the only thing around them for a very long time. Small branches cracking and brushing against each other, playing their little song in the cooling breeze of nearing winter.
Like so many times it was Gen who found his voice first, not for the words he wanted to say but sometimes any words at all were better than nothing. “Mouse Ears has grown so much…” He contemplated.

Fen smiled over at him. “The young ones all have.” She said and turned out to look through the gaps in the foliage. “The Oldest Wolf Paw is teaching her and White Tail to set the traps for small game.” She explained and Gen nodded along.

“We have, too, I guess.” He said with a sigh.
“Huh?” Fen turned to him confused. 

He hummed, contemplating his words for a moment. “I don’t know,” he started, “I feel a lot older, even though time here went faster than it did for us…” That was the best he could put it. A lot had happened. His last visit here was so brief, rushed in the pursuit of saving Erazil, that he forgot it happened most of the time. So maybe that was it… that it still felt like the last time he had been here had been before he left for Lazuli. And he had definitely grown since then. Fen, too, but somehow she still always felt the same. Especially when she smiled.

“I mean we have done a lot. Had a lot of fun and, well…” Fen said open ended.

“Adventure…?” He finished for her.

“Like old times…” She nodded, with a sadness in her eyes, that he didn’t quite understand. 

“I missed that, too…” he said, trying to acknowledge the feeling, give her a chance to talk but it brought only another stretch of silence so eventually he just talked on, trying to get to what was on his chest. 

“I missed Lazuli, too.” He said with a twitch of a smile. “I… “ He sighed and started again. “I found something out. That’s why I came here… mostly. To talk.”

“I know, you said that already…”

He knew, but putting some padding around the hard parts helped sometimes…He took a breath and cracked his neck, before he spoke again. “That professor from Kornear – I was lucky I caught him just before he left -” Gen knew that was irrelevant and forced himself to stay focussed. “He had an interesting proposal about my kind of magic…” Another pause stretched and Fen sat there legs dangling off the branch, while she listened, watched Gen’s hands gesture around. “His idea is that it’s not actually in the bloodline, but that they might be connected to a soul. Carried on from a prior life of sorts and…” Gen plugged a leaf from a nearby branch and started twirling it between his fingers. “I asked him whether such a reincarnation might pose a significant disruption of the natural order. And indeed if the soul was put there outside of it…” He sighed again, thoughts heavy with the realization he had been carrying around for a while now. “I think there is only more reason to believe that I am your curse.”

“You are not a curse.” Fen said adamantly, so sure that he almost believed her. “You’re my brother.”

He didn’t have the heart to look at her. “Yes,” he sighed. “As it seems I wasn’t supposed to be, though…” And that was the crux wasn’t it. 

“That doesn’t change anything.” Fen insisted, almost angry, or as close as she ever got to that with him.

“I know.” Gen gave in, not able or willing to argue. “But it does make sense now… that I never fit here.” He unconsciously started picking the leaf apart, vein for vein as he recounted. “That your unicorn was reluctant to call it a curse. And the thing with the divine plane… If it is about this soul and whoever it was before…” His shoulders dropped. The thought alone that what was him now was someone else before, was never supposed to be him. “You’ll always be my sister.” He turned his thoughts around and turned toward her again. “Nothing will ever change that, but… I guess I’m just not sure what this means for me.”

Fen gave a nod, ever understanding, ever untelling what it was that made her look so gloom about all of this. She said it herself, it changed nothing. Not for her. 

She was the one to stop the silence from spreading this time. “Are you gonna tell mum and dad?”

Gen had thought about that on his way here, about who should know in general. He shook his head and picked another leaf, to pick into pieces as he spoke. “Not Erazil either. He has been so obsessed with getting rid of that curse for you…” He left the sentence unfinished.

Fen’s voice was more scolding than reassuring when she said: “He wouldn’t do anything to you…” How could you even think that? It said, He’s our friend.

He was also trouble. As much as Gen appreciated standing with and not against the man. “Not intentionally.” Gen agreed, if only to appease Fen. “I… just don’t want him to stick his nose into this.” Gen tried to explain. But Erazil was not why he was here, he was a problem they would get to when it came to it. Another heavy sigh joined the many others lost over this whole dilemma. “I don’t know what I want to do about it… how to figure out what is going on. I think I would like to talk to your unicorn about it… If that’s ok?”

Fen nodded. ”Sure… I mean, I can try and talk to him to talk to you.” 

It was a riddle to Gen how she could call that creature a friend, yet be so uncertain whether it would even show its face. “Thanks.” He said instead and plugged another leaf.